AUGUST 13, 2005:
"DO-NOTHING" FICHTER INSPIRES NEW SCALE FOR MEASUREMENT OF INACTIVITY:
THE "FICHTER SCALE"!
As the antithesis to the “Richter Scale” which measures the ground-shaking, earth-quaking, global-scale movement of tectonic plates on a logarithmically-increasing scale, the lack of activity of State Representative John Fichter has inspired a new scale- the "Fichter Scale"- to measure the ABSENCE of motion. As the standard of inactivity and motionlessness, John Fichter himself represents a measurement of 10.0 on the “Fichter Scale”. As numbers increase on the Fichter scale, they represent logarithmically decreasing levels of activity. Some examples are provided below:
THE FICHTER SCALE OF INACTIVITY - EXAMPLES
FICHTER SCALE MEASUREMENT |
EXAMPLES |
|
-3.0 |
Cheetah on attack, Millenium Force roller coaster, Hurricane Floyd |
 |
-2.0 |
Angry swarms of bees, Eagles Fans, Niagara Falls |
 |
-1.0 |
Robin Williams, Dr. James Dobson, Dodge Viper |
 |
0.0 |
Irish Setter puppy, George W. Bush |
 |
+1.0 |
Dick Cheney, Harry Reid, Honda Accord |
 |
+2.0 |
Gentle Breeze on Caribbean beach, Toyota Prius |
 |
+3.0 |
Rocking Chair, Town & Country Minivan |
 |
+4.0 |
Hammock |
 |
+5.0 |
Sloth |
 |
+6.0 |
Snail |
 |
+7.0 |
Paint Drying |
 |
+8.0 |
Rust |
 |
+9.0 |
Small Rock |
 |
+10.0 |
John Fichter |
 |
+11.0 |
|
 |
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